Thursday, January 03, 2013

The Violent Side of Bilbo


I tend to be a pretty easy-going person, although I do have a volcanic temper that I usually keep well under wraps. I tend to express my anger in writing (as you've probably noticed) and (as my coworkers will attest) in the occasional office rant about the ass clown du jour (lately it's usually Congress). But one of my little-known talents is that I can throw a pretty mean punch.

It's not something I've often been required to do, which is a good thing ... I could probably get off one really good punch before being used by my opponent to mop the floor ... but that punch would really be a good one. Here's the back story ...

Many years ago when Agnes was teaching ballroom dancing, one of her students was a fellow a few years younger than we who was a karate instructor. One year, he gave Agnes a karate uniform and a set of free lessons as a birthday gift and Agnes, recognizing the value of a working knowledge of karate for proper husband control, took the lessons. This lasted until the end of the gift period, when she decided she knew enough to keep me under control; however, she also decided that we should continue to support her student's business, and gently suggested that I should sign up for lessons. Being generally disposed to accepting Agnes's suggestions, I did so.

And I enjoyed it. I found that karate was an excellent way to get my muscles stretched out and toned, and learning the stylized movements of the various katas helped improve my coordination*. I even managed to break my own board with my fist of fury - not too bad for a measly white belt ...


I kept up with the lessons until I'd achieved my blue belt (an appropriate color that matched all the sparring bruises) and hurt my shoulder, but I really valued the time I spent and the lessons I learned ... which included the ability to deliver devastating punches and kicks, none of which I've ever had to use in anger.

Why did I think about this today? It was because of this article from the Atlantic Monthly: New Year's Resolution: Learn How to Throw a Punch. In retrospect, it's not a bad skill to have, even if you never need to use it. It's always better to avoid a fight, but if you have to defend yourself, it's a really good idea to know the applied physics of delivering at least one really good punch, which might be all you need.

Have a good day. Learn how to throw a punch ... you never know when some otherwise irredeemable ass clown will need it.

More thoughts tomorrow.

Bilbo

* Which is not especially remarkable at the best of times, and is matched only by my hopeless sense of direction.

5 comments:

eViL pOp TaRt said...

A blue belt is a significant achievement, demonstrating that you developed proficiency in that form of marital arts.

Learning to throw a punch? That could be very handy nowadays. I haven't had to do one in over ten years.

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

Interesting now that you mention it that belts are white when you start and then like a bruise they are black and blue. Hmmm.....

since you can break a brick I'll be very very nice to you. I like my nose right where it's at thank you.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

We'll let you loose on Congress then :)

Mike said...

I'll have to tell you my judo stories some time.

allenwoodhaven said...

Aikido is an excellent martial art that I have some training in. A friend is a black belt instructor. It is based on using your opponent's own energy against him (or her)so the harder they swing, the harder they fall, if you do it right. But as I always say, let's not get into a situation where I have to find out if I'm doing it right. Fortunately, it's worked for me more than not...